feeling the pains of my labor

I want to be wide awake, usually, in the summer. I get happiness at the beach, for some reason, I can just walk miles for hours, almost endlessly, it seems.
Someone told me it's the iodine in the salty air that gives people a lift.
It's such a pain going to out of town doctors. I hate sitting in the chair explaining & convincing docs that "yes ! I need them"
HIPPA law, this "confidentiality law" guards personal medical records from being disclosed. Under this law, the patient must sign a consent form if he permits his records released to another treating physician.
Yet, if one has a history of an overdose, even an accidental one, this information is readily obtainable without the patient's consent. No signature needed from the patient. For this reason, I have to travel way out and see doctors.
I feel as though I am doing something criminal & deceptive.
I understand a doc's not wanting responsibility if a patient is suspect ,but everyone knows you can take anything if you really want to leave the planet.
Circumstances CAN change. Attitudes change,outlook & feelings change. One's life can change from agonizing to fulfilling.
When I was given a script of Xanax 6 mg per day, one doc reprimanded me at my next visit for "taking advantage" of her trust, because I didn't mention the accidental od.
Shouldn't I have been the one feeling mistrust ? (my records released without my knowledge)
I'm very tired of the ordeal.

gone to the birds

I was asking around for an American yellow parrotlet(the European yellow are supposedly less vivid)I got a blue one instead, they seem to sell so fast.
This one is from New Jersey.Melvin is very receptive, eats from my hand. He loves broccoli, but isn't fond of sweet fruits, like Percy.
I'd love to pair one of these guys with a bright yellow female, but they're territorial and temperamental. If there is another male in view of a mating couple, the male may kill his mate with jealousy,Ouch!
Also fledglings must be removed from the father because he may kill male offspring.These birds don't make the best daddies.

Below is granny holding up a sketch she drew of her beagle.(it doesn't look like a dog)You couldn't tell granny that.In the sketch, the dog appears to have 5 legs, but she had explained that one wasn't actually a leg, but a sign of his gender....
Oh granny, I still get a kick out of you.....

favorite dresses

The gown above is a pink silk chiffon,there's a sheath falling from the neckline and it's double skirted. It is one of my favorites. I like the length cause I don't have "good legs"


This dress is embellished with fake diamonds and gold at the neckline. It's got multi layers of stiff crinoline which gives it a flattering shape, but not comfort. It's getting old and I no longer wear it.
I like just-below -the knee to ankle length dresses and prefer a stack heel to high heels & stilettos.
These images are very poor. Someday I'll have to photograph my favorites.

out of order

I miss my pc. It got infected a few days ago. I'll see what the repair man says. Either he can fix it or I have to replace it.

Felt like a cornered animal

I have a few "friends"?
That's the wrong word.
I have some people who invite me over.
I was suspicious of these people initially when while being asked over, would remind me "not to forget wearing" my "favorite dress". It's this stipulation that had me skeptical.
Being a Friday night, they entertain with dinner & drinks in their home.
They are rich engineers in aerospace. I'm a high school drop out. Anyway, I usually have no problems getting along with people.
They paired me with a bleached blond "date" and took us out. I've always thought the one who invites picks up the bill, but on top of being miserable for hours, I got stuck with paying my half and the blonds too.
They got their usual laughs out of me, that doesn't hurt much.
I listened to their high class bs, one got a plaque, one blew 500 dollars at the casino,blah,blah,etc.
While listening, I recalled one night last summer.
I got plastered at their house, no they didn't force it down my throat. Then thunder & lightening could be heard. I told them I felt unsure of my drive home, being drunk & with the storm.
They have 2 spare bedrooms & routinely fit 4 couples overnight on couches and so forth. I kinda thought it was logical to keep me overnight, but when I mentioned this, they promptly showed me the door and mentioned their cleaning lady arrives early on Sundays.
"Shit", I thought...are they really friends ?, sending me off blind drunk during a storm.
Friends, real ones are few.Phonies are a penny for a baker's dozen.I Won't be seeing them anymore.