Tuesday, October 11

surprise from granny?

Granny's house is so far off the road and so isolated. The place drives me nuts. I go there and stare. There's dust all over. Granny was a great cook and a big reader, but wasn't big on cleaning and I don't blame her for keeping the place a little messy, hmm it's more than a little messy, but that sounds nicer.
Granny's is like Yale, huge & drafty with very high ceilings. The last time I lived there, I felt so desperate and lonely.
I've become very used to opening my door and being right on the sidewalk. Opening my door and instantly seeing people walking & talking.
Shortly after granny's death, I had an unflattering memory of her and just as I was thinking it, one of her heavy, bulky purses fell on my head. I was in one of her closets and believed she or her spirit smacked me on the head.
My dogs were with me and one morning they pulled clothes hangers from out of the closet and there were strange brown cloths all over the floor.
Wrapped around the wires of the coat hangers were silk stockings. They looked new and never used. These are old stockings reaching up to the thigh and they'd get attached with the clips on a garter belt. There were about three pairs on every hanger.
I know my granny was a hoarder. I don't know what went through her mind as she wrapped these silk stockings around the hangers, and then hung clothes from them, it seems like she had hidden them or maybe didn't like wire hangers and thought of this as a way of padding them.Things that are hidden are more exciting than obvious things. I sometimes think that the devil wraps things with fancy ribbons. Temptation.
Whatever her reasons, I'll never know, but while I was tempted to try them on, silk is so soft and wonderful against the skin, I felt guilty and unwrapped every hanger and put away all the silk stockings in a bag and left them at the Goodwill drop-off.
It was kind of nice, I'd love to think granny set up a surprise gift for me, but she was a hoarder and probably kept these silk stockings under wraps for an emergency.
I'm glad the very hot weather is all over with, I'm really loving the cooler weather.
This past weekend was horrible. I had the worst hangover of my life.
Luckily, The Real Housewives of New Jersey was on tv and even in all my pain I could smile watching Teresa "flipping the table".
I took 2 Advils waking up and couldn't really remember why I felt so shitty. I was over the toilet puking and the vomit came out both mouth and nose, it was all liquid but suddenly, I couldn't breathe. I was choking on my vomit. My uncle had died that way. I was stricken with panic and grabbed my bath towel to blow my nose and saved my own life.
All Saturday, I felt as though I were poisoned, shaking,weak and walking like a 90 year old man.
I restrained myself from vomiting anymore the entire day (it's hard). I ate and drank nothing.
That morning I got this awful ammonia smell in my nostrils and I still cannot smell anything. This ammonia smell is subsiding very, very slowly. I was told that some of the vomit got into my larynx and it will take time to get that ammonia-like vapor and my sense of smell back.
The only good thing is I have only drank a couple beers since and that is how it's going to be from now on.