out of order

I miss my pc. It got infected a few days ago. I'll see what the repair man says. Either he can fix it or I have to replace it.

Felt like a cornered animal

I have a few "friends"?
That's the wrong word.
I have some people who invite me over.
I was suspicious of these people initially when while being asked over, would remind me "not to forget wearing" my "favorite dress". It's this stipulation that had me skeptical.
Being a Friday night, they entertain with dinner & drinks in their home.
They are rich engineers in aerospace. I'm a high school drop out. Anyway, I usually have no problems getting along with people.
They paired me with a bleached blond "date" and took us out. I've always thought the one who invites picks up the bill, but on top of being miserable for hours, I got stuck with paying my half and the blonds too.
They got their usual laughs out of me, that doesn't hurt much.
I listened to their high class bs, one got a plaque, one blew 500 dollars at the casino,blah,blah,etc.
While listening, I recalled one night last summer.
I got plastered at their house, no they didn't force it down my throat. Then thunder & lightening could be heard. I told them I felt unsure of my drive home, being drunk & with the storm.
They have 2 spare bedrooms & routinely fit 4 couples overnight on couches and so forth. I kinda thought it was logical to keep me overnight, but when I mentioned this, they promptly showed me the door and mentioned their cleaning lady arrives early on Sundays.
"Shit", I thought...are they really friends ?, sending me off blind drunk during a storm.
Friends, real ones are few.Phonies are a penny for a baker's dozen.I Won't be seeing them anymore.

my drunken Valentine friend

My phone rang every half hour & even less throughout the weekend from one person. My friend living in New Jersey is in trouble......again. We've been friends since I was 19, I grew up, (to some extent) and he did not. In our late teens, he was incredibly aggressive, e.g. bar room brawls, DWIs, pissing in front of a court house, etc. He was once a real looker & ladies' man. Before he got knifed in the face & punched out so much, his facial features are now crooked. He had to lie & claim to be suicidal to get detox treatment cause he had no insurance.
He was in and out of rehabs. He's the typical Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Friendly, helpful and very considerate sober & raging explosively when drunk. He moved, married and had three children over the course of years, we still kept in touch, but distance kept us from being best buddies anymore.
He is facing jail time and divorce, drinking heavily. My efforts failed from the beginning to help him at all. I still try. He needs mental assessment & treatment loads more than jail. I mean this a guy 0f 40 with the mind of an adolescent.
That was my weekend, answering constant calls to a drunken, senseless, raging friend and that is the purpose of friendship, right? to be there, no matter what.
Above,he is seated beside my granny.

Anna

Last night I watched a film called Boating with Jack.

I liked it. It isn't glamorous. I like raw & natural where things aren't polished up to a blinding shine.I like the everyday appeal in things. REAL.

No matter how I strive, I could never be as honest & exposed as Anna.

"This is me without make-up." I accept uncensored comments. I am here to take a bashing.

She writes straight from her mind to the post and "leaves". I think of it as leaving because there'll be a trail of comments, many anonymous. She doesn't bother addressing them. Some don't deserve it anyway. I like her "I don't give a sh*t" type of attitude.

She's free & relaxed. She mentioned something about being "in" to herself, maybe I don't remember her exact wording..something about being narcissistic.

I think she has good reason to feel this way. It's justified because she's herself & unique.

I would not be receptive to this type of commenting.

So the comments seem like they came from hell and there they sit, unattended & abandoned, like ashes.

We anticipate her eagerly, never predictable. Love it!